@Tris: Wolf.
@Cherrin: Save for a Samsung P3. Owns iShits anyday.

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Being so far from home is doing shit to my mind and it's upsetting. I feel like I'm at a crossroads with everything I want to do laid out in front of me. Going into week 3 of being in the supposed profession I chose for the rest of my life, feelings of regret are resurfacing faster than ever.

I know I shouldn't have but I took up part time jobs as a freelance translator for Korean to English and a tiny role as a French tutor at school. For the first time since I've been here and started getting my life on track, I'm genuinely happy. I love English. I love languages. This is what I want right now and for my future. I want to teach English in Korea. I want to interpret for big name companies. I want to translate everything that's going on in the world so people can stay informed. Hell, I dreamed of interpreting for the president and other world leaders.

But I could never live with myself making less than $30k knowing I had the chance to make 6 figures.

Anyone that says money doesn't matter is a fucking liar. You get a job to make money. It's not rocket science. I want to be able to support my family. I want to be able to let my parents rest and finally retire comfortably. They deserve it. They've lived every second of their lives to make sure mine was perfect. I want to be able to give my sister the liberty to pursue whatever the hell she wants without worrying financially. She's so artistically and spiritually talented in so many ways, it drives me crazy with admiration and jealousy. She deserves it all, everything she can achieve without the limitations of financing. And this is the deciding factor. My love for my family and their well being out trumps my love for English any day, any moment.

All of this can only happen if I put my head down and get ready for work right now in a position I abhor, if I finish my homework for classes I don't understand.

I hate myself.

I don't have the will to stand in front of people and socialize when my own thoughts are such a wreck. Sorry RCK.